Signs You're Dating an Alpha Female

1. She acts unimpressed by your romantic gestures: An alpha female is used to men chasing her, so don't be surprised if clinch gifts like flowers and chocolate don't impress her. Remember this: Her expectations are higher than most women's, so you will have to be a little more original to get her attention.

How to counteract it: Try writing her a personalized letter and leaving it on her windshield, for example. Or make her lunch and bring it to her at work. Whatever it is, be different. If she still acts unimpressed, do continue to make kind gestures, but don't go overboard. This type of woman is used to men going crazy for her, and you will stand out more if you can keep your cool.

Alpha Female

2. She continues to date other men: Clearly, she doesn't want to commit. The alpha woman always has several men on the go and likes to keep her options open.

How to counteract it: The only way to deal with her wandering eyes is to do the same. In other words, fight fire with fire and continue to date other women until you discuss otherwise. How to handle her if she never calls you back, always insists on paying her share, is demanding, and more..

3. She's hard to reach: The alpha female is a busy woman, or at least she is very talented at making you believe that. She likes to have you at her beck and call and wants you to work around her schedule.

How to counteract it: Don't become the last-minute, just-in-case guy -- that won't earn you any respect in the long term. Make sure she realizes that you have your own commitments by not working entirely around her schedule. Do continue to pursue her if you think you have a shot, but be casual when you call. And definitely don't call more than twice before she calls you back.

4. She insists on paying her share of the bill: If she always insists on going Dutch, she might be pulling one of her fancy alpha tricks. Why? Because if you never treat her, she'll never owe you anything. 

How to counteract it: Continue to offer to pay on dates, but if she seems adamant about paying her share, don't insist. If you want to avoid the whole awkward bill-splitting moment, tell her you'll take her to your "secret spot" and bring along a picnic to surprise her.

5. She is demanding: She continuously asks you for favors and you are eager to do them for her. Sound familiar? The alpha female is used to having men pursue her and give in to her every whim. But as tempting as it might be to jump every time she tells you to, do not allow yourself to become her puppy dog.

How to counteract it: Keep your dignity and do only what you feel is within reason. You will earn yourself far more respect in the long run if you don't jump through all the hoops she sets out for you.

6. She is sarcastic and condescending to you: If she constantly talks down to you and makes rude or mocking remarks, you need to defend your honor and fight back with equally witty comments. You never know what the alpha female might say, so you always have to be "on" and ready for verbal combat.

How to counteract it: Use a negative hit only when absolutely necessary (something mildly but not overly insulting). This will throw her off balance and threaten her feelings of control. However, if your exchanges are consistently negative and disrespectful, you're probably better off moving on; you shouldn't have to put up with her abuse.

NOTE: Make one important distinction clear in your mind: An alpha female might not call you back very often and she may date other men, but she will show you strong, intermittent signs that she is interested to encourage you to continue pursuing her. Do not mix this up with a woman who is showing few or no signs that she's interested. In other words, know when to stop trying and walk away......#Become the alpha male.

Top five keys to any great relationship.

1. Respect:

Everyone teases, but know when enough is enough. Know that you each are different and accepting that as it is. Just because you are a die hard basketball fan doesn't mean that they have to be too. Embrace the uniqueness of your relationship and most importantly, never, enter a relationship with the intention of trying to change the other person. It will only set you up for disappointment when the effort fails.

2. Communication:

No matter how much you glare at a person. No one is a mind reader. Don't expect your significant other to know that putting the cereal bowl in the sink is second on your list of cardinal sins. Let them know, discuss things. It may not happen every time, but storming out of the room over it is a sign of deeper miscommunication.

3. Boundaries:

Boundaries are good for everyone. Sharing everything might seem like the rosy picture everyone paints, but it's simply not true. Respect your significant other's privacy. This goes a long way towards developing trust between each other and strengthening your relationship.

4. Trust:

As mentioned in key 3, trust is a must in any budding relationship. If you cant trust each other, its time to reconsider your options. So you want to spend the weekend with your best friend/sister/cousin. No one should have to give up anything, especially friendship to simply make a relationship work. Trust doesn't break a relationship, it strengthens it.

5. Spontaneity:

Remember the silly stuff that you'd do when you met the love of your life? Just because you're committed to each other some odd years later doesn't mean that the old spontaneous side has to go in the closet. Breaking the monotony and running away for a beach weekend getaway can remind each other what it was that brought the two of you together to begin with.

Whatever it is, the key to a perfect relationship is not perfection, it's a simple case of give and take.

10 Major Problems That need your Attention in a Relationship

1. LACK OF COMMUNICATION - At the start of the relationship, conversations are exciting and fun. Both of you spend a lot of time getting to know each other. But as time goes by, lovers forget to ask the same questions again. We’re all changing all the time, in our preferences and the way we look at life. Don’t assume you know everything about each other or your romance will start to stagnate, or one of you will start to confide in some other person who seems more understanding.

2. TRUST - Do you really trust your partner? There are two kinds of trust in a relationship. Firstly, do you trust your partner enough to feel comfortable with them going out for dinner with someone else? If you don’t, perhaps, you’re insecure or your relationship is still too fragile. And secondly, do you trust your partner’s decisions? Do you think your partner is capable of making important decisions for the both of you? If you can’t trust your partner with life altering decisions, it’s obvious that you don’t respect your partner or their opinions. And that’s never a good sign in a long term relationship.

3. JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY - Insecure couples are forever locked in a cycle of jealously and anger. When you feel jealous about the attention your lover’s getting or their recent promotion, you’re not helping them become a better individual. It’s like a parent who’s angry with their child because the child is having “too much fun”.

You need to learn to have faith in each other and in the relationship. Instead of letting negativity build inside the relationship, learn to enjoy each other’s successes. After all, your partner is your better half, and any accomplishments of theirs are your accomplishments too, isn’t it?

4. INCOMPATIBILITY IN LOVE - Love at first sight and infatuation can last several months. And it does a good job of masking any differences in a relationship. As perfect as two people may be, sometimes, they may just not be perfect for each other.

If you find yourself dating someone with whom you have nothing in common, you need to decide on the next step. Try to find common interests that both of you like, or walk your own paths instead of living in frustrations.

5. LOSS OF SEX DRIVE - this isn’t rocket science. Over time, both of you are bound to lose the sexual urge of the first few months or years of a relationship. While both of you may have a hard time keeping your hands off each other to begin with, now sex may start to feel like a chore. This is a very common problem in relationships, and yet, it’s one of the easy ones to solve. Always look for new ways to recreate the sexual high of the first few times, and before you know it, both of you may go at it all over again like frisky bunnies.

6. FINANCE ISSUES - Anyone in a relationship for long enough will know just how important money or the lack of it really is. If your friends earn a lot more than you or your partner, it’ll end up frustrating both of you. And on the other hand, if both of you earn a lot more than your friends, there’ll be a lot of love and happiness in your lives.

It’s a stupid fact of life. But our own happiness is extremely dependent on the way others perceive us. If you’re having difficulties in your relationship because of money, perhaps it’s time to change your friends and see the difference.

7. CHANGE OF PRIORITIES - You may be in a relationship, but that doesn’t change who you are. And that’s where the problem starts. As individuals, we evolve and change all the time. You’re not the person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are now next year.

And just like you, your partner too is changing constantly. And every now and then, you and your partner may experience changes that will pull both of you apart from each other. And soon enough, both of you may have nothing in common. Spend enough time with each other and try to evolve together in a similar direction. Talk about your beliefs and your interests with each other and it’ll help both of you grow together along the same path.

8. TIME - Do both of you have enough time to spend with each other? These days, time is a luxury that most lovers can’t afford. When you start spending too much time away from each other, it’s only a matter of time before one of you starts asking the big question, “Do I need my partner in my life anymore?”

Don’t drift away so far that both of you don’t need to be with each other anymore. Find ways to indulge in exciting hobbies or spend evenings going out on little coffee or ice cream dates. They make for great conversations and it’ll bring both of you closer too.

9. SPACE AND INDIVIDUAL GROWTH - Now this is contradictory to the earlier problem in relationships. But it’s still something to watch out for. Too much of a good thing can turn out to be bad too. When you’re in a relationship, spending time with each other is very important. But at the same time, spending time away from each other is crucial too.

By spending too much time together, you’d subconsciously feel isolated from the rest of the world. And when that happens, you’d crave for any attention from other interesting people just to feel better about yourself and your ability to communicate. And you know what could happen when that happens, right?

10. ARE YOU STILL IN LOVE? - This is the biggest problem in a relationship, and one that’s hardest to overcome. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love isn’t. Love is a delicate balance between dependency and passion. How much do you need your partner? How much do you love and want your partner?

When the sexual excitement and the enthusiasm fade away, what do you have to hold both of you together? A relationship should never be based on sex alone. It needs compatibility and understanding, and it definitely needs dependability. Staying in love forever is not easy, but with a little effort, it can give meaning to your life.

The 80-20 RULE IN RELATIONSHIPS

It states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.......This is a special case of the wider phenomenon of Pareto distributions. If the Pareto index α, which is one of the parameters characterizing a Pareto distribution, is chosen as α = log45 ≍ 1.16, then one has 80% of effects coming from 20% of causes. It follows that one also has 80% of that top 80% of effects coming from 20% of that top 20% of causes, and so on. The 80-20 rule may seem like a perfect economical model, but it can fit snugly into issues in a relationship too. The easiest way to interpret it with respect to love and relationships is this, 80% of all frustrations in a relationship are caused by just 20% of the problems. The 80-20 rule in relationships could seem confusing at first. But understanding this CONCEPT can help you change your relationship for the better.

The 80-20 RULE IN RELATIONSHIPS

When you’re in a relationship with someone you love, there may be a few things that you don’t like about them. After all, none of us are perfectly compatible with each other all the time. At the start of a relationship, when both of you are still learning about each other, the relationship can seem perfect.

By taking a look into our own relationships and love lives, we can see that most of the big frustrations and annoyances are caused because of a couple of reasons, even if you haven’t realized it yet. Irritations like clothes lying around the room, taking ages to get dressed, or spending too much time with friends or over the phone may be many in number, but they’re all little annoyances that get magnified because you’re already upset with your partner for some other bigger reason.

UNDERSTANDING LOVE THROUGH 80-20 RULE.

You may feel like your whole relationship is falling apart, or that both of you have drifted away from each other over time. But all you need to do is focus on a few deeper rooted issues to sort all the problems in your relationship.

To use the 80 20 rule in relationships in your own life, the first thing both of you need to do is to stop worrying about the 80% of things that bother either of you about your relationship. All of us spend so much time getting annoyed by the little things that bother us that we lose the big picture that really creates all these problems. ‘Why is your relationship changing?’ is a better question to ask instead of ‘Why does he/she behave this way?’

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP BETTER??

All relationships experience rough patches or confusions now and then. But they can all be fixed by realizing the most important factor. There’s always a root cause for the bigger problems. Address the 20% of the issues that cause 80% of the frustrations in the relationship. And you’ll be able to sort the more noticeable problems along the way.

In a good relationship, lovers don’t focus on cleaning the surface. They get to the bottom of the problem even if it’s messier. Always get to the root cause. You’ll experience a better relationship and a happier life, just by following a principle of economy in your love life, called the 80-20 rule of relationships

But just a word of caution though, focusing on the 20% of problems can clear the most important of issues in a relationship. But sometimes, you also need to look into the other 80% of little problems now and then and weed them out.

CONCLUSION.

The 80 20 rule in relationships is fascinating and can help you understand what matters in a relationship. But it’s up to your judgment to find and focus on the right details and take a passing glance at the smaller issues that crop up now and then.

A WORD TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES.

Are you single and wanting to have a boyfriend?? Did you just found Yes as an answer to the question? PLEASE READ THIS:

Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.

 

Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together.

At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy!

Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.

Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate

chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.

You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me; the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found.

Again WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

How To Tell If Someone Is Telling Lies.

We have all met people who were dishonest and avoided eye contact. It has been said that "the eyes are the mirror if the soul." Many people know that their eyes betray their lies. Some try to conceal the truth by wearing sunglasses of looking down at the ground.

Eventually, you will confront someone and need to know if they are being honest. It may be a friend, a family member or an employee. Police have established a method of evaluating the truthfulness of a person by watching the movements of their eyes. It's not an exact science by any means, and it can be manipulated by a skilled criminal or a seasoned liar, but is it generally accepted as a good indicator of honesty.

The following are some general patterns that you can use when talking to someone. It shows the various directions of eye movements of a person and explains what is usually going on in their mind at that moment. It illustrates that a glance to the observer's left usually reveals a creative process -- when someone is "making up" facts or lying. A glance to the observer's right reveals that the subject is remembering facts.

Here is a more detailed explanation of this method:

Up and to the Left: Indicates a visually constructed Images. If you asked someone to "Imagine an ice cream sundae with a red cherry on top", this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are "Visually Constructing" an ice cream sundae with a cherry in their mind.

Up and to the Right: Indicates a Visually Remembered Images. If you asked someone to "What color shirt or blouse did you wear yesterday?", this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are "Visually Remembering" the color. 

To the Left: Indicates an Auditory Construct thought. If you asked someone to "Try and create the sound of a speeding train in your head", this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind the are imagining and creating the sound of a speeding train.

To the Right: Indicates an Auditory Memory. If you asked someone to"Remember what the National Anthem sounds like", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while remembering the song.

Down and to the Left: Indicates a Feeling/Sensory impression that is being created. If you asked someone to "Can you're member the taste of chocolate?", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while they recalled a smell, feeling, or taste of eating chocolate.

Down and To the Right: Indicates an Internal Dialog. This is the direction of someone's eyes as they "talk to themselves."

How to use this information to detect a lie?

Let's say that you have a friend who owes you some money for women's self defense classes. You have heard that they just got paid and you want to suggest that they pay you back. You try to be polite and ask them, "Did you get paid yet?" They answer, "Gee, not yet. The boss said maybe next week." and look to their right (your left). This would indicate that they are constructing or "making up" what their boss said. They are telling a lie.

Police often ask a suspect to describe someone in detail. If the suspect looks to their right (your left) they are generally constructing or "making up" the visual description. If they look to their left (your right) they are generally recalling the details from their visual memory.

So, in general, a glance to your left when observing a person indicates that they are creating or "lying" while a glance to your right signifies that they are remembering an actual event, or being "truthful."

But there's more to the story...

Another thing that forensic interrogators look for is the use of contractions -- words like isn't, doesn't, weren't, etc. These usually are used by people telling the truth. On the other hand, people who say is not, does not, were not, etc. are often lying.

They also look for the reactions and facial expressions that accompany what the person is talking about. If someone says "I'm so sad that it happened!" but there is a delay in their expression of sadness, they are probably not being honest. The example is often given of someone who receives a present that they don't like. They often respond with "Wow. It's beautiful, I love it!" and then, some few seconds later, they smile and appear to look happy. Truthful emotions are spontaneous and instantaneous.

Another method used by professionals is to change the subject. A person who has been telling lies about a particular event will welcome the change of topic and will be visibly relaxed. An innocent suspect or a person who has been telling the truth will usually want to continue the dialog and will find the change of topic puzzling and attempt to regain focus on the topic.

Body language is also a good thing to observe. Liars usually do not use their hands. They often fold their arms together in front of them or position items such as books, cups or other things between themselves and the person asking the questions. Sometimes they touch their mouth or nose a lot.

Some investigators say that long and detailed answers to otherwise simple questions can indicate a lie. It's as if the more detail the person gives the more he tries to convince the questioner that he is being truthful. If they are confronted or accused of something, the liar will usually deny the accusation in a calm and emotionless manner instead of getting excited and saying things like "What? You think I did it?"

With careful video analysis, some investigators can observe rapid twitches in facial muscles that indicate a lie. Poker players, who want to leave with the most poker chips, often learn to "read" the facial expressions or "ticks" of other players to determine if they hold a good hand of cards or are just "bluffing."

To become adept at distinguishing lies, ask some neutral questions to establish the baseline of the subject. Watch their facial expressions and eye movements and test this method by asking questions and observing the pattern of shifts to left, right, up and down.

A word of caution: this method may be reversed in left-handed people. It also may not apply to people who have rehearsed their answers or who have taken drugs or consumed alcohol.

Positive Communication In Marriage

If your marriage is like most, it began with good communication. You got to know one another by spending time together. You talked and talked and talked.

Communication is the essential element to every great marriage. Getting to know another human being requires talking. It's how we fall in love. It's how we understand another person's heart. It's how we resolve problems and discuss needs. It's so important.

It's also important that those words be encouraging. That's what happens early in a relationship, right? Your speech is filled with kindness, praise, and compliments. Without positive words spoken, you won't have a very good relationship—or a good marriage.

I often give two instructions to married couples. Women should be more sexual than they feel (this always makes the husbands in the room happy). But on the other hand, I tell men they should talk more than they feel. Our wives deserve more than just a grunted word or two at the end of the day.

That leads me to the five standards of successful communication in marriage:

1. Caring. This is a very simple principle. It's impossible to communicate with a person who doesn't care. We show how much we care through attentive body language, listening, and feedback.
2. Praise. The Bible says we enter God's gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise (Psalm 100:4). God doesn't let a negative person into His presence. We're made in the image of God, which means, as humans, negativity destroys our chances of communication, too. We can't always avoid negative discussions in marriage, but we have to earn those with positive words. Focus on each other's strengths. Focus on the attributes that first made you fall in love. I always tell people they should speak ten positive words for every negative one.
3. Truth. Ephesians 4 commands us to speak the truth in love. Both truth and love are required. Mercy without truth is like being a cheerleader without a team. It's meaningless. Truth without mercy is surgery without anesthesia. It's mean.
4. Faith. You must have faith—in God and in each other—to communicate in marriage. When problems arise, we may confront them in each other, but we need to allow God to be the enforcer. No nagging, punishment, or browbeating. We let the Holy Spirit convict someone into the actions that can transform them.
5. Surrender. We must surrender our hearts, minds, and mouths to God. Let Him use us to speak kind words into our marriage.

Communication is central to a good marriage, whether you're a man or a woman. Speak kindness, truth, and positive words to each other, and watch how God will use these things to draw you closer than ever before.

The Four Needs of a Woman.

One of the most challenging verses in the Bible is Ephesians 5:25, which says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." God's standard for men is that you give your life for her.

Fellas, you love your wife more than you love yourself. You sacrifice for her. You strive to meet her needs. What are those needs?

The Four Needs of a Woman

A woman's greatest need is security. She needs to know she is safe and provided for, and instinctively knows this occurs through a sacrificial husband.

She needs to know that you will sacrifice your interest, a hobby, a friend, an event, an opportunity, a promotion if necessary to make sure her needs are met. Nothing is more important than her.

A wife who has to resort to nagging or begging has a husband who is not sensitive to her needs. A wife who lacks romance in her marriage has a husband who is not sensitive to her needs. She shouldn't have to ask.

A woman's number-two need is soft, non-sexual affection. Guys, she wants to be held without being pinched, tickled, or groped. Why? Because it communicates to her that she's more to you than a sex object, and that you are connected on a higher level than just sex.

Let everything begin to improve. Men, if you are not affectionate toward your wife, saying "that's just the way I am" is no excuse. You need to change.

A woman's third need is open and honest communication. When your wife asks "How was your day?" she wants more than grunts and groans. She wants to connect with you. She wants access to your heart.

A healthy marriage requires both the husband and wife to talk to each other—to really talk, even if that feels awkward to you. Men, she doesn't just need you to share your feelings, she deserves that from you. I often say that, in a good marriage, a wife must be more sexual than she feels and a husband must be more conversational than he feels.

The final need of a woman is leadership. Women don't want to be dominated—they deserve to be treated as an equal partner—but they do want their husband to be the loving initiator of the home in terms of the children, romance, finances, and spiritual matters.

That doesn't mean the husband makes decisions without her, but it does mean that he initiates the process. Women don't respond to passive husbands.

Security. Affection. Communication. Leadership. When a husband sacrifices for his wife and meets these needs, he goes a long way toward loving her like Jesus loved the Church. In the process, he'll do his part to build an amazing marriage.

20 Signs You’re Succeeding In Life Even If You Don’t Feel You Are.

1. Your relationships are less dramatic than they used to be. Drama is not maturity. As we age, we should develop maturity. So maybe your relationships were drama-filled in your past, but if you have moved beyond that, then you are successful.

2. You are not afraid to ask for help and support any more.Asking for help does not equal weakness. In fact, it is a strength. No person has ever succeeded in isolation. It takes teamwork to accomplish goals. Asking or help is a sign that you have grown as a person.

3. You have raised your standards. You don’t tolerate bad behavior any more – from other people, or even yourself. You hold people accountable for their actions. You don’t spend time with the “energy vampires” in your life anymore.

4. You let go of things that don’t make you feel good. No, this is not narcissistic even though it might seem like it. Self-love is success. Love yourself enough to say ‘no’ to anything that doesn’t make you happy, doesn’t serve your purpose, or drags you down.

5. You have moments where you appreciate who you see in the mirror. Ideally, you should appreciate who you see in the mirror at every moment. But even if that doesn’t happen, if you do it more than you used to, then that is success. Love yourself. You are awesome.

6. You have learned that setbacks and failure are part of self-growth. Not everyone can have success 100% of the time. That’s just not realistic. Life is about victories and losses. So look at your setbacks as stepping stones to something better. In reality, there really is no such thing as as setback. It’s all just part of a wondrous journey.

7. You have a support system that includes people who would do anything for you. If you have figured out the people who “have your back” and recognized the ones who only pretend that they do, then you have succeeded. This is a painful realization, but once you learn to see the signs of betrayal, you can stay away from those people.

8. You don’t complain much. Because you know there really is nothing to complain about. Unless you really have gone through some horrific life experience and had unimaginable losses, most of what we all experience on a day-to-day basis is just mundane. And successful people know that. And they live in a space of gratitude.

9. You can celebrate others’ successes. Just because other people succeed, that doesn’t make you a failure. Applaud the people who rise to the top. The more positive energy you give to other people’s victories, the more you will create your own.

10. You have passions that you pursue. You are not stagnant. You know you have something wonderful to contribute to the world. You have unique talents and gifts. Not only do you know that, you pursue it.

11. You have things to look forward to. If you don’t have exciting things going on in your life that you are eagerly anticipating, then you are slowly dying inside. Successful people create goals that they are passionate about pursuing. They let this excitement drive their life.

12. You have goals that have come true. Even though “failures” are a part of life, you have stuck to your goals and dreams long enough to make them come to fruition. You have some tastes of victory. It fuels you.

13. You have empathy for others. A person without empathy is dead inside. Empathy equals spreading love and positive energy into the world. Successful people know this. They love others as if they are family.

14. You love deeply and open yourself up to be loved by others. Love is risky, and sometimes scary for people. It’s the one thing we all strive for, but it’s also intimately tied to the one thing we fear the most – rejection. If you open your heart enough to love and be loved, then you are successful.

15. You refuse to be be a victim. You know that life doesn’t always happen to you. Many times, you are a co-creator of your life experiences. Successful people know this and refuse to be kept down by life experiences. The rise up and conquer anyway.

16. You don’t care what other people think. You know you can’t please everyone. You know that the standards with which society judges people is many times unrealistic. So you just keep true to yourself and love the person you are.

17. You always look on the bright side. Life can be full of disappointments – if you choose to see them that way. Otherwise, they are learning opportunities. No negative experience is ever wasted as long as you learn from it.

18. You accept what you can’t change. Let’s face it – there many things you can’t change in life. All you can change is how you view what happens. If you can change your negative perspective on situations to a positive one, then you are successful.

19. You change what you can. And let’s face it again – there are many things you can change in life. Successful people don’t sit around accepting the negatives that are changeable. They get out there and do something about it!!

20. You are happy. To me, this is the ultimate definition of success. It doesn’t matter what the balance is in your bank account, how big your house is, or how many fancy vacations you take. If you are happy, then you are succeeding in life.

Even if you don’t see yourself in many of these 20 things, don’t fret. It’s okay. Be happy that you see yourself in just a few. In time, the rest will come. You just need to keep moving onward and upward.

15 Honest Questions The Person You Marry Should Be Able To Answer.

Marriage really is a beautiful thing. I used to think it was a bit pointless, just a piece of paper that allows you an extra tax cut. However, the more I thought about it, the more I learned to appreciate what marriage could be. Marriage gets a bad rap because most people are really bad at it. It’s not marriage’s fault. It’s the couples’ fault for being neither mature enough nor smart enough to manage.

Honest Questions The Person You Marry Should Be Able To Answer.

I used to believe people couldn’t possibly promise to love someone else in 10, 20 years when neither their partners nor they will be the same people they are now. But that’s the point. We know that the future is filled with uncertainty.

Regardless, we still want that promise because it gives us courage to give ourselves to another without reservations.

You may not be able to keep that promise, but you can keep the promise to do your best to be an amazing life partner. That’s all anyone can really ask for. If you’re thinking about tying the knot then be sure that your future life partner to-be can honestly answer these questions to your liking:

1. Why do you love me?

People seem to feel this is a question that doesn’t especially need answering. Most will say we love others simply because we love them — a horrible answer. All people need to know exactly why it is that they love the people they love.

Loving someone is a very selfish act, and it’s okay. You love the person you love for what that person does for you and how he or she makes you feel.

We may all have slightly different answers as to why we love someone, but if we aren’t able to exactly define the parameters of our love, then we’re likely to struggle later on once the initial intensity dies down. If your partner can’t answer why he or she loves you now, then imagine the inevitable uncertainty down the road.

2. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

“Because I love you” is not a good answer. Life is a journey — one that is best not traveled entirely alone. However, not everyone has the same destination in mind. Wanting to take different pit stops along the route is one thing. Wanting different things out of life is another entirely.

Your partner should be able to tell you what life experiences he or she hopes to share with you. It’s these little goals you set for yourselves that make your life special.

3. Will you do your best to keep the romance alive?

Keeping the romance alive is not an easy task. Yes, it’s all mental, but keeping interest for such a long time is difficult. It takes a lot of work and creativity. It takes the other person regularly trying to please and impress you, which in itself becomes increasingly difficult with each new year.

Romantic love cannot survive on its own; both of you are going to have to maintain it constantly. Is your partner willing to keep the romance as one of his or her main priorities?

4. Will you grow with me, and not away from me?

We may not know exactly where our lives will take us and what we will learn — who we will become — along the way, but we can make a conscious effort to grow closer together and not apart.

Most people grow apart over the years because they feel like they’ve accomplished everything in their relationships that needs accomplishing.

This is one main reason marriages end up being so horrible — people think that there is no greater peak to climb than the one their relationship is already resting on. Marriage shouldn’t be the end, it should be the beginning.

5. Will you stick through the rough times?

The good times are a piece of cake. The difficult times, however, will destroy your relationship if you allow them to. There comes a point in every relationship when you have to make a decision. It’s a decision that, if made, is only made once.  You will reach a point where you will either decide you are going to be there for this person for the rest of his or her life, or not.

If you decide you’re going to stick with this person then you can’t allow any tragedy or outside force to shake that decision. This is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives — or, as it often turns out, fail to make decisively. Has your lover made the decision? Have you?

6. Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?

The key to a successful marriage is taming your ego. No matter how competitive we are, sometimes you just need to pick your battles. Sometimes the arguments and the stress just aren’t worth it.

What you need to understand is that 99 percent of arguments aren’t arguments over fact, but rather over opinion. An opinion is neither right nor wrong. Sometimes you just have to let things be.

7. Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?

Life has a lot to offer. And if you’re anything like me, you have a very large appetite. We want everything life has to offer, and then some. The problem is we don’t have enough time to have it all; our lives are too short. We can only pick a few things we consider important and do our best to flourish in those areas.

The beauty of marriage is that it can be used as a base to build the rest of your life on. Your partner should be just that: your partner. Your relationship is the most important thing in your life because it’s what makes the rest of your life possible.

8. Will you be a great parent?

Again, how could anyone know he or she will be a great parent? Easy. You just decide you’re going to be. That’s it. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just a decision and then action.

Some things don’t need too much thinking involved. You’re going to be great because you decided you will be. Will your lover do the same and be a great role model for your children?

9. Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?

People not only want, but need to hear it. We need to be reminded you love us because we know that love doesn’t always last forever. We want to hear the words and then have that re-assurance reinforced with actions showing how much you love us.

It really is enough just to love us, but understand you need to love us the way we need to be loved — just like we need to love you the way you need to be loved in order for you to be happy.

10. Can you promise to do all you can to keep that spark alive?

Sparks don’t spark on their own. Think about how a lighter works. You have a spark that lights the fuel, which creates a flame. But how does that spark, spark? You have to create a force that will result in the energy creating a spark.

Just the same, you can’t expect sparks to keep flying if you’re not trying. If you want to have a happy and healthy marriage, then you need to find someone willing to devote the necessary energy.

11. Will you support me if I can’t support myself?

Not just financially, but mentally. Maybe even physically if necessary. No one knows what life holds. The unexpected happens, often leaving us weak, hurt or even permanently damaged. Will your partner carry you when you can’t walk?

Will your partner support you when you’re weak at the knees? Will your partner carry the family you’ve created until you regain your strength? Is your partner capable of mustering the strength to fight battles for the both of you?

12. Will you promise to continue to pursue your personal goals and dreams?

Marriage is not entirely the end of the person you were and the start of a new you. Sure, being in a serious relationship does require a person to change in many ways.

Yet, there’s a part of us we can never, under any circumstance, let go of. The dreams, wants and hopes we have — our personal goals — must stay alive.

When we lose them, we lose ourselves and inevitably lose the person we love. Marriage isn’t just an “us.” It’s also a you and him/her. You have to juggle being the person you have always been with being a part of a larger whole. It’s not easy. But it is necessary.

13. Will you not allow yourself to let go?

Will your partner take care of him or herself by eating healthy and exercising? Will your partner get regular checkups and take vitamins? This may sound silly, but I’ve seen what letting yourself go can do to a marriage.

Moreover, I’ve seen how not maintaining your health can make the lives of those closest to you incredibly difficult.

Yes, your family should take care of you when you need to be taken care of — but it’s your responsibility first and foremost to take care of yourself. No people should become a burden to those they love.

14. If I’m the first to go, will you be there with me until the end?

Will your partner hold your hand when you’re too weak to hold it back? Will your partner kiss your forehead and tell you he or she loves you, that you made life worth living? That, because of you, life made sense? Will your partner be there for your last breath, when you find yourself pressed betwixt fear and content?

No one should leave this world alone. It’s said that we leave it the way we come into it, but even when we come into it, there’s someone there to hold us. I understand most people don’t like to think about death, but seeing as it’s an inevitability, it’s better to plan ahead.

15. Can you promise me that if my time is cut short, you’ll continue to live on for the both of us?

You love this person. You want him or her to be happy regardless of whether he or she is with you or without you. If death collects you ahead of schedule, you’ll want to know during those last few seconds that the person you love will continue to live life to the fullest.

That your partner will continue to do great things, continue to be happy, and — if you have children — continue to love your children and guide them through life. The death of a loved one can ruin you. It can break you in ways that make full-recovery impossible. Can your partner promise you to find the strength and courage to press forward?

I don’t know about you, but the last thing I’d want for the woman I love is for my departure to be her downfall. If my being in her life or leaving her life will in anyway destroy hers, then I clearly made a mistake by allowing myself into her life.

NO CHEATING - Just say NO & Stay Faithful!

CHEATING doesn't mean you have to kiss, meet or have sex with a third party. Once you find yourself deleting texts and e-mails so your partner wont see them, you are already there. Its like a cancer it develops slowly but you will surely feel the pain when its fully grown. The funny thing is most of the times, people try to find what they already have because they don't just appreciate what they have.

Remember the grass may look green on the other side but what if you could just invest time and energy by watering the one that you have. Wouldn't the world be a better place to be today? Can you imagine how strong your relationship would be if you would not waste your energy, resources and time on things that have no future. Secret, small, hidden relationships are like ticks they suck all the good things out of your marriage or relationship and makes it unstable. it will take you more effort to repair what you would have damaged and the sad thing is sometimes those wounds might never heal.

Now with these so called social networks (Facebook, Skype, Whatsapp, Tango, Badoo, Gtalk, Twoo, iChat and many other platforms)- so many marriages and relationships are being damaged behind the scenes. Have you ever calculated the time that you invest in these social networks? What if that time can be used to promote those areas that you are struggling? Evaluate what the gain and losses that you have at the end of the day because in every conversation its either you are gaining or you are losing?

Stop "sexting" and flirting with those people- Yes you know them. Imagine your partner (Husband/Wife) reading the messages that you receive, would he/she reply with a free heart on your behalf? If the answer is NO, then that is an unhealthy chat/ talk that you are having Stop it before its too late. Some mistakes will cost you for a life time yet you could have just avoid them by just ignoring that chick/ dude who now loves you because you have been turned into a better 'asset' by your current partner. Where were they when you were struggling? Please may you all get rid of all the parasitic relationships that will always be a treat to your relationships' healthy.

Fight for what is right and never give up on the one you Love. Yes l said health because you have to know and take care of it just like your body. Love it as you love your body, maintain it as you maintain your skin, teeth, hair and nails. True love means hard-work. Do not apply if you are not prepared to take the risks. Stay out for a relationship if you still want to fool around (but that has its own price) because a relationship calls for great deal of commitment. Most of the young people think that they will start being faithful when they get married - Word of Advise: You can never teach an old dog new tricks.That is why they are so many broken families because people think they still have time to adjust.

Start practicing being true to yourself when no one is watching because that's who you really are. Besides its by nature that what goes around comes around- Do you think the person that you got out of a secret affair will stop just because you are now with her/him?.

WHEN TWO PRAY, THERE ARE BENEFITS.

Prayer is truly powerful. But when you pray together, that power is tremendous. Going to God in prayer as a couple benefits your marriage in several ways:

Power of Praying Couples.

1. Prayer Promotes Unity...

On the day you and your spouse were married, you became one in the eyes of God. From that moment on, however, there is still a process of becoming one in your everyday lives. The living out of this unity doesn't just happen; it takes time and effort.

The most difficult thing about a marriage is that there are two people in it. If you were just trying to work through things by yourself, you could certainly do a good job of it. But in marriage you have to mesh your dreams, desires, attitudes, assumptions, needs and habits with those of your spouse. The effort to do so can cause strife. When you pray with your spouse, you are drawn into unity with God and, as a result, with one another.

2. Prayer Promotes Emotional Intimacy...

Just as physical intimacy reaffirms your oneness, so does praying together. When you pray as a couple, you are not only communicating with God, but also with each other. You can learn so much about one another by sharing prayer requests and listening to each other pray.

3. Prayer Changes Relationships...

A husband and wife certainly can't change each other, and they can never change as much as they would like. But God can change them both if they invite Him to do so. No matter what struggles a couple have, if they keep praying together, they can see things turn around.

If you or your spouse feel uncomfortable or embarrassed praying out loud in front of the other, don't be discouraged. Many people have felt that way and overcome it. Ask God to help you. Ask Him to teach you and your spouse how to pray together so you can have the marriage He wants you to have.

4. Prayer Invites God Into Your Relationship...

For a marriage to last and be happy and fulfilling, three parties need to be involved: the husband, the wife and the Lord.

All marriages have problems because they are made up of two imperfect people. But if you add the presence of a perfect God, then you have unlimited possibilities for drawing closer to what God intended for marriage. Whether that happens is determined by how frequently and how fervently God is invited into your relationship. The more you pray together, the more you will see God do great things.

FOUR CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS.

Call them debates, conflicts, arguments, or vehement fiscal discussions – every couple will have disagreements.

In order to maintain our commitment to love, cherish, and honor our spouses, we need to yield ourselves and our rights, first to God and then to one another. Here are a few strategies to help prevent communication stalemates, blowouts, and breakdowns. If you and your spouse have a difference of opinion, try approaching conflict with one or more of these guidelines in mind:

How to resolve conflicts in a relationship.

TIP 1

Stick to the problem at hand. Focus on the current conflict, and don't accuse your spouse of "always" or "never" behaving a certain way. Putting your spouse on the defensive is never wise.

TIP 2

Get on the same side of the fence. Rather than attempting to resolve an issue "my way" or "your way," work toward a solution that represents "our way."

Try to identify the core issue. Arguments often arise because of events or issues that disguise the real problem. Consider what attitudes or beliefs are motivating your behavior for clues as to what the core issue in any conflict is.

TIP 3

Don't be a mind reader. Discuss your beliefs and expectations openly. Don't try to interpret your spouse's thoughts or motives from his or her behavior; instead, ask direct questions. Likewise, don't expect your spouse to know what you are thinking.

TIP 4

Avoid character assassination. As you work to resolve conflict, it's okay to talk about circumstances and behavior. However, attacking your spouse's personality or character is never acceptable.
Never forget that your relationship with your spouse is far more important than "winning" an argument or "being right."

Remember that love keeps no record of wrongs. Be quick to forgive, quick to admit your own mistakes, and quick to move on from the conflict.