If you can’t have what you want, want what you have.

I am pretty sure you are familiar with the phrase, ‘when the wrong one loves you right’. Most people have been in this situation. If you haven’t then worry not, I swear your turn is coming. If it never comes then thank God. That situation where someone that you are not even remotely attracted to loves you to bits and goes out of their way to do everything within their power to prove it. And for some reason, the more selfless acts of love performed, the more you dislike them. And as if this is not enough, your eyes are set on someone else who is also not interested in your affection. They just don’t want to know. You want them, they don’t, then the other wants you , you don’t.

It’s a vicious cycle of unrequited love. When he buys you stuff and proclaims his undying love, you wish all that was coming from someone else. He does everything right but he’s just the wrong guy. And the real person of interest acts as if you were invisible.

So what to do when presented with this situation. Wait around until the ‘right’ one finally sees you for what you are or forget them and go with the ‘wrong one’ and enjoy their right loving?

Most people would go with the latter, because according to them, it is the more mature thing to do. Why chase after a fantasy or wait for a dream to materialise when reality sits right there at your feet? Why love someone who clearly doesn’t see your worth, what if you wait and they never “see you there”? What if while you are waiting for your love and attraction to be reciprocated, the one that loves you right leaves and you end up losing it all? Some argue that love comes softly, that an attraction can develop with time, after all that’s how arranged marriages used to work, right? All this is logical. However, as is with life, everything has pros and cons.

Others would say deciding to be with someone out of pity for them is not a good point to start off any kind of relationship. Or simply settling with them despite your obvious dislike, lack of attraction, lack of appreciation, lack of choice, or as last resort, is not only unfair to the other party but does you no good either. You see, unless you are lucky and you gradually grow to love them, you will forever feel that perhaps you short changed yourself and could have done better. You will always wonder what it could have been like if you had gone with the other. Many cheat on those they settled with out of convenience, or because there was no other option. So what if you do the mature thing and go with the one that’s available then after you have grown to love them, they treat you wrong? Can you imagine what that would feel like? Looking at it from the eyes of the ‘wrong one’, even I wouldn’t want to be someone’s second thought or their last option.

So what do you do? Let the wrong one love you right or reject them and run after the ‘right’ one that doesn’t even know you exist? “If you can’t be in love with the one you love, just love the one you are with,” says Luther Vandross. Well, what do you say?